No no no...
Well, actually you can do what you want. I'm sure that even the
ordo malleus has 'chambers' that it would rather keep to itself.
All this Age of Apostacy stuff... I can just imagine the Inquisitorial headquarters being opened to inspection by, well, whomever...
<Adept taps foot impatiently> Adept: "And this is the extent of the Holy Order of the Inquisition? Hmmn, Master of the Inquisition?"
<tone of honest shock> Master of the Inquisition: "Why, of course. What would we, the Inquisition, have to hide from ones suchas yourselves?"
Adept: "So this rather extensive headquarters in Antarctica is the extent of your resources..."
Master of the Inquisition: "Well, not quite. Remember we were talking about all those resources that we've scattered thr..."
<pushing spectacles up nose and thanking the Machine God - well, if he believed in it, that is - for such wonderful devices
>Adept: "Yes, we've included them. They are at this point or will be soon examined."
Master of the Inquisition: "Well, in that case... Yes, what is it Inquisitor Perkins?"
Perkins: "Well, that might not be strictly correct, Master of the Inquisition."
Master: "Pardon?"
Perkins: "Well... You see, for the past five millennia there's kind of been this, well,
other side to the Inquisition."
Master: "That sounds like heresy!"
Perkins: "He...ck... no! The Emperor himself gave us His Sanction and our charter, which we have enforced dilligently, watching the watchers so none may fall to the foul depradations of Chaos!"
Master: "We...?"
Adept: "Chaos...?"
<pointedly ignoring the Adept> Perkins: "Well, yes. You see I'm kind of, well...
you know"... <adopts sheepish grin> "...the Grand Master of the
ordo malleus..."
Master: "You what?"
Adept: "Pardon?"
Perkins: "The hunters of daemons, enemies of Chaos, seeker after the corrupt heart of the Imperium so that we may bask in the Emperor's Light..."
Master: "I thought it was bloody suspicious that you'd been hanging around for six centuries!"
Adept: "Inquisitors can live that long!? Hey, what's going on and what is this Chaos..."
<adopts ominous tone> Perkins: "That is not for you to question, for I am
malleus, of the Inner Cir..." <turns to have something whispered in his ear> "... Ah, yes, we don't do that do we. Can we get into that later. You were asking whether this was the entirety of Inquisitorial resources..."
<Adept falls over as Perkins opens a chamber to the Chamber Theoretical and Historical>
Adept/Minister: "Whaaa..."
Perkins: "And that's just one. Here, let me show you this map..."
<Perkins pulls out newly printed "A Visitors Guide to the Newly Formed Holy Orders of the Inquisition (That's All Of Us!)... Erm, Honest!" guidebook>
Perkins: "Here you are..."
Master: "What's that?"
<glancing over shoulder> Perkins: "A, secret daemonic research facility. We basically test-patterned an
adeptus astartes Chapter by possessing subjects with low-order daemons given them the abilities of the
Illuminatus, an order that the previous, erm, Senate deemed heretical. They're actually onto something, we believe, but we're not entirely sure although our contacts with the eldar and their Black Library have suggested interesting avenues of research..." <looks around innocently at stares>
Adept: "And this...?"
Perkins: "Ah, that's our store of virus bombs and other planet killers which we use for
exterminatus. You see before this new open policy we were all for, you know,
secrecy. Quite up on it, in fact. All those worlds that were destroyed by mysterious and despicable aliens? Nope, I'm afraid that was us. We
really were into our secrecy..."
Master: "And this? Secret laboratory where you can revive the Emperor, blessed be His Name?"
Perkins: "No, we never could quite figure out what was happening there. Annoying people always ended up dying under, erm, questioning. No, that's my first office, though I had to move when your investigators got a bit too close after signing the death warrant on your predecessor..."
Etcetera...
Kage